Weeks 21-24

Week 21 - This week has been a little rough. I've been in a lot more pain than normal today - pain that brings tears to your eyes and makes you feel like a big fat baby. I was having a lot of really low pelvic pressure/pain to the point where it felt like my insides were going to fall out of my body. I called Dr. O's office and they had me come in. My blood pressure was through the roof, which is very unusual for me. I usually have spot-on perfect blood pressure. She sent me home with a pee catcher and 2 jugs for a 24-hr urine collection. Nice, huh? The tests came back normal so my blood pressure was probably just high from me hurting so bad. Looks like I have severe PSD which is a little disturbing when learning what it is, but it makes sense given the pain I'm in and that I'm already waddling. I try really hard not to waddle but my hips and legs are so screwed up that it comes out looking like a waddle no matter what I do. My bones are not digging carrying 2 babies very well. I also had my first "kankles" today and my engagement/wedding rings got stuck on my hand so bad I had to use oil to get them off. Good bye to the last 2 skinny things on my body. I sure do hope these boys are sweet to me and love me forever and ever.

(Please forgive my swolleness and no make-up pictures...)

Week 22 - Lou and I took a trip to the med center today to meet the high risk specialist, Dr. Reiter. I had read that he was super smart and has 35+ years of experience, but terrible bedside manners. So, I was a little nervous. He did about a 45 minute ultrasound on the boys, taking all their measurements and every once in a while pointing out something silly they were doing (Hayden dancing and Connor punching the ultrasound wand every time Dr. R ran it over him. He did not like being messed with.) They are so cute I just can't stand it! Unfortunately, we didn't get many answers. Connor's umbilical cord vein is definitely not going in the right direction. He gave one scenario of some of his organs maybe being on the wrong side of the body, but that it doesn't necessarily mean he won't live a normal life. He just really isn't sure at this point what it means because Connor is still too little to see everything he needs to see. So, he wants to monitor the babies and have us come back when Connor has grown a little more. I feel confident that God is watching over these babies and they will be okay. I just hate feeling so helpless.

Week 23 - We finally went and registered at Babies R' Us and online at Amazon.com. Not that long ago, I never thought we would get to this point. There have been so many milestones throughout this process, and believe me when I say we celebrate each and every one of them! It was a little overwhelming registering for 2 babies. I've been doing my research so I thought I was prepared. But wow. It was fun though - I absolutely love that Louie is so enthusiastic and involved with every little piece of this pregnancy. He has been so so so good to me. I don't last very long walking around, so we don't really get to do too much outside of the house. You'd think we would have driven each other crazy by now, but our struggles to get to this point and these babies have brought us closer than ever before.

I met one my BFFs at a fabric store this weekend to pick out the crib bedding fabric. Having a friend who's an interior designer is a huge plus when you're wishy washy and picky like myself. I hate making decisions. The fabric is so cute (at least I think so, which is all that matters right?) and I can't wait to see the finished product! Thank you Ber!!!

Bad, no make-up kind of day!

Week 24 - Babies have been VERY active lately. I saw my belly move for the first time from a kick - I couldn't stop staring at my belly after that!! I've been having lots of BH contractions so I was put on bed rest for a couple days to see if they would calm down. I'm still having them but not as many. I also have been really swollen in my ankles, feet and hands. I guess that's inevitable and here to stay. I went to Dr. O and my blood pressure was good but my cervix had shortened. She didn't seem too worried, just said we'd have to watch it and she doesn't see me working for too much longer. It can't come soon enough. All the walking and driving and sweating and stair cases - I'm absolutely miserable by the time I get home.

This weekend we got our booties in gear on the nursery. Since our house doesn't have much storage, we had to clear out an entire room (we had a garage sale last weekend to get rid of all the crap we had). Our poor guest bedroom is now an office, craft room, junk room, guest bedroom, etc. I hate clutter but I don't really have a choice right now. We bought the paint and went and picked up the furniture across town with my dad. It took a trailer to haul all the furniture back with us! Dad came to paint this week and floors are going in this weekend (pics coming soon)!

I dressed up and put make-up on for once! This is a big deal to me.

Weeks 17-20

Week 17: So many people love these babies and they aren't even here yet! I love that our friends and family enjoy talking about them and also hearing that they pray for us. I truly believe that these babies were prayed into existence and those prayers have kept them safe and sound as they continue to grow. I have had moments where I have been upset because I can't have everything I want for them because we had to spend our savings on IVF, but I just think back to the sweet words of encouragement from friends and family and know that it isn't material things that are going to be important, but our friends and family's love and support of our sweet boys that is going to be important as they grow up! How truly lucky the 4 of us are!

On another note, babies officially have names! Baby A is Hayden River and Baby B is Connor Jackson ( I won the Hank battle!!! However, I still think our friends will call him Hank. Poor kid.) They have been super squirmy lately - although I think I feel Hayden more than Connor. He's lower and that's where a lot of the action is. Of course, he's also always been our show off baby during ultrasounds. Connor is much more laid back. He'll just give a little wave or thumb suck while Hayden strikes poses and does flips. I wish I could watch them on the screen forever!

Week 18: This weekend we went to visit my grandma and look at baby furniture. We bought 2 super sweet cribs and a dresser (since it takes 3 flippin' months to get them in). It was a pretty defining moment for us. This is really happening!!!!!! I can't wait to put together their nursery.

I am still suffering from HG (hyperemesis gravidum) and have had to take several more trips to the hospital for fluids and meds intravenously. Ugh. 

Week 19: Babies are getting more and more active, especially Hayden. I'm still barfing and nauseous but I have also been able to eat a few different things (I'm still a vegetarian though). I'll take it! I like to think of it as a reminder that nothing comes easy, even after a couple years of craziness trying for these sweet babies! The sciatic pain has also kicked in - I'm pretty used to it but I guess the extra weight just compounds the pain. I come home from work and can barely walk some days. Lou has become quite the masseuse. 

Time is going by so slow it seems. Some days I feel like I've been pregnant for years. We are trying to get out of the house more now because I think we're both going a little stir crazy. So call us if you want to hang out with some old boring folks!

Week 20: Today was our 20 week anatomy scan and doctor appointment with Dr. Ohlemacher. Both my mom and Lou got to sit in on the anatomy scan (level II ultrasound where they take measurements and look at the major organs to make sure they are developing normally). I think my mom's heart is officially melted. Hayden was, as usual, being a show-off. He is our chunker weighing in at 15 ounces. When we got to Connor, the sonographer discovered that Hayden was kicking Connor in the head. I think that's why I've been feeling so much movement - they are already fighting! Hayden is in an "L" shape with his head down and Connor is transverse (sideways across my tummy). When she got to Connor's tummy, she spent a very long time assessing it. Way longer than with Hayden. I had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. We met with Dr. O immediately afterwards and she explained that while Hayden looked great, our sweet Connor was measuring 25% smaller and there was a problem with his umbilical cord. She really didn't know what else to say about it because she had never seen it before, but that he looked good everywhere else. So, we are being sent to a high risk specialist next week and will hopefully get more answers. Please keep our sweet babies in your prayers!

Connor

Hayden kicking Connor in the head

Hayden

Sweet baby hand

Always entertained w/ this for a husband

20 whole weeks!

Week 16 & the Big Reveal!

We got some big news this week... WE ARE TEAM BLUE! This was my prediction - can't mess with mother's intuition. We are so thrilled! Louie's first comment was that he was getting his own baseball team. He's going to be a great coach and more important, a great DAD! Wow, I can't believe God is going to let me have two mamma's boys. What a blessing!

We wanted to do something special for our parents to announce the gender, and since we used our dog children to announce that we were expecting we figured they would want to be a part of this big news. We tied two blue balloons to each of them and let them sit at the door steps of our parents' houses. I think they could tell how excited we were because they were going bonkers and weren't cooperating too well. It was so cute and they were proud to show off! They will be great big sisters! Here are a few pics from the big day:

Hayden River

Connor Jackson

That's one proud baby boy!

Other updates: I am finally in maternity clothes! This excites me because maternity pants are so comfortable. No buttons or zippers - amazing! They also help me to look pregnant and not like I just ate a little too much. Also, I felt Baby A kick for the first time!!! So exciting. These little boys have 100% stolen my heart. I love my little couture babies!

Weeks 13-15

Week 13 - I went back to Dr. O this week for the babies' NT scan (checks for risks of down's and other chromosomal abnormalities). I almost started stripping down when the sonographer said this would be my first tummy ultrasound. I was way excited about this (I've had about 30 the other way, if you know what I mean). The babies looked great and of course, our little clown baby a was showing off. It was doing vogue poses for us. So cute! Right now, the way they're positioned it looks like they're sleeping in bunk beds. Baby b was sucking it's thumb, which I found amazing that they already knew to do that at just 13 weeks. They really really look like babies now and it just amazes me being able to see their ears, eyes, lips, nose, etc.

I've been under a lot of stress trying to balance work and being so sick. I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes. I was hospitalized this past weekend for severe hyperemesis. I could not stop vomiting for the life of me. Still not getting any relief from any of the meds I've been prescribed, nor any "natural" help. Some days it feels like this is never going to end. I spend a lot of time with the toilet and praying! I'm down about 14 pounds but Dr. O is not too worried since I gained a lot of weight from all the hormone treatments. She wants me to start putting on weight now that I'm in the 2nd trimester. I would if I could keep anything down!

Week 14 - I felt baby flutters for the first time this week! We had friends over for Memorial Day and it happened while we were sitting around talking. I wasn't sure if it was gas though :) Oh the things no one tells you about pregnancy. I've burped more in the past 10 weeks or so then I have my whole life (and that, my friends, is A LOT).

Week 15 - Nothing really new to report. My belly is finally getting baby bigger. I bought some maternity clothes to have on hand when I need them. I'm still nauseous and throwing up most of the day, every day. 

Weeks 9-12

Week 9 - Babies are growing! I got to see them wiggle for the first time today. Baby A is definitely our show-off. It was doing what looked like the worm - it was hilarious. Baby B was just chillaxin' and at one point waved at us. Seeing them move made it all the more real for me. I love them so much!

My progesterone booty shots have been taken down to every other day. This is a HUGE deal! Dr. H wants to try weaning me off now that the placenta should be making progesterone on it's own, or getting close.

I'm still super duper sick - nausea and vomiting. The vomiting has switched mostly to the evening (and a time or 2 throughout the day) but it is more intense and so is the nausea. I honestly don't know how I'm making it. Every day is like a fog. I seriously come home from work, lay down because I'm too nauseous to do anything else, throw up, lay back down, eat dinner, throw up and go to sleep. Every. Single. Day.

Week 10 - Babies look like babies!!! We got to see their hands, legs, etc. It looked they were having a dance party in there. Louie got a pretty good recording of their heartbeats. They are so sweet, I just know it.

Tonight, at exactly 10 weeks, I take my last progesterone shot! As crazy as it sounds, I wouldn't mind keeping on with it if it meant our babies are protected. It just seems so risky. My progesterone is in the 20s. They want it over 20 but still, there's two placentas. What do I know? I'm no doctor. I think Nurse C could tell I was worried because she's letting me come back for bloodwork ina a few days to make sure my levels haven't dropped off. Until then, I'm going to treat my booty like a queen. It has been through a lot over the past 2 months - I added it up and my poor booty has endured 61 shots. Wow! I took pictures of all the allergic reactions and bruises and lumps the progesterone caused. I'm going to use it for battle if our twins ever give us trouble. I'm going to make them see what all I had to go through to get them here, so they best be good kids!

Week 11 - All day sickness (NOT morning sickness) is getting worse. I thought it was supposed to get better dangit!! I've tried everything they can prescribe me plus the "natural remedies" and none of it works. I notice absolutely no difference in the way I feel, except for with the medicine that makes me sleepy. I think it only helps because it puts me to sleep. Not helpful for work though! Also, I took a little trip to the emergency room after waking up from severe arm pain and heart palpitations. It lasted a couple hours. Of course, once I got there, it wasn't happening anymore. The only thing they could see was that my thyroid levels were off which could have caused the heart palpitations. Scary nonetheless.

Babies are doing great. Still dancing away and not letting Dr. W get good pics of them. My progesterone is still dropping but above 20 so they aren't concerned yet. It's so hard to let go and just trust them.

I think I'm starting to show a tiny bit despite the weight I've lost. It's easier to see my little baby bump now. My clothes still fit though and I'm holding out buying maternity clothes as long as possible. I always told myself I would enjoy being pregnant... now I just want it to go by fast (at least the sick part). I'm determined to enjoy this!!!

Week 12 - This week was my first visit to my OB. She was so excited to see me and I, her. She said when her and the staff saw my name on the schedule for OB, they all did a happy dance. I saw them multiple times a month for the first 8 months of treatment, so we came to know and like one another pretty well. Despite the non-success, I was sad to leave them for the fertility specialist.

Babies both looked great and still measuring right on schedule. Dr. O loved how active they were - kicking, punching, rolling. Silly babies! The only thing she was concerned about is it appears they share a placenta (which creates a high risk situation). I'll go back next week for an ultrasound with a sonographer who should be able to tell for sure.

I was a little disappointed to hear that when the time comes, I will not get to at least try for a natural birth. With this being my first pregnancy and with twins, she doesn't like to risk a breach extraction if one is breach or one flips once the first is delivered. Obviously I want to do whatever is safest for the babies, but it still bummed me out.

Babies Got Beats - Weeks 5-8

Week 5
We had our first ultrasound this week. 2 gestational sacs + 2 yolk sacs = TWINS! Lou almost started crying, I just know it. I was pretty composed, but I think only because I was on pins and needles that it just numbed me. I started spotting a day before the ultrasound and I was so nervous that I made myself sick. Literally. I have never been so scared in my life. But, thank the Lord - everything looked great. I'm just going to be extra paranoid from here on out. Sometimes the thoughts of infertility consume me and I find it hard to get them out of my head. The emotional, physical and financial toll this has taken on me just to get to this point - what if something terrible happens and it was all for nothing. I wish I could get hypnotized and have all those thoughts go away so I can just enjoy this. I'll work on that....

Back to babies - they already have little heart beats - we could see the little flickers on the screen. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Baby A is measuring one day ahead of Baby B, which is fine. When they printed the pictures out for me I looked at Lou and said, I never thought I'd get to see one of these and it be my own. We love them so much already. Lou has nicknamed them Tito and Buck (he has some sort of obsession with these names).

When we were walking out, all the girls who work there that I have come to know and love were so excited for us. Despite the reasons for us having to be at HFI, it's been a really great experience and it's all because of the people who work there. It's going to be hard once we graduate to my OB at around 10 weeks.

Symptoms started early for me! Here are a few:

• All day Nausea
• Vomiting
• Just the though of meat thicker than sandwich slices absolutely repulses me
• I have that "I haven't eaten in days" starvation feeling in my stomach but when I go to eat I can only take a couple bites
• Crackers even taste terrible

This is the reaction we got when we told Izzy about her future siblings.

Our sweet couture babies!

Eva loves her twinsies!

Week 6
At my first ultrasound they gave me a prescription for Zofran (aka my new best friend). I was starting to stress about how I would continue to work while vomiting and feeling nauseous all day long. The area where I sit at work is one of the furthest away from the restrooms and there is only 1 trash can along the way but even it's kind of far.

I went in for my blood work and 2nd ultrasound by myself today. I was super disappointed that Lou wasn't there with me because... I got to hear the babies' heartbeats!!!! It was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I was just in shock. My fav Nurse got a little emotional with me. It just amazes me that you can hear such a strong heart beat coming from something that doesn't even look like a baby yet. WOW! I can't wait to watch them grow through the ultrasounds and even more when they come into the world!

I'm still on the estrogen pills that dissolve under my tongue 3 x's a day, the estrogen patches every 3 days, and the torturous progesterone in oil shots in my butt. I still have a terrible rash from the shots and also a hematoma that just returns after one goes away. It's miserable but I know it's what I have to do for the babies. They can't survive without it. BUT I will throw a freakin' party once I'm finally done!

Week 7
Today was one of those days I pray we never have to experience again. I have never been so scared in my life (and I thought the spotting was bad!) We went in today for another ultrasound and while the doc was looking at the babies' growth, I started hemorrhaging really bad. I won't go into detail - just trust me when I say it was horriffic. Doc thinks I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. So so so scary. Luckily, the babies looked fine. They are both measuring right on target at 7 weeks. Baby A had a heart rate of 136 and Baby B was 144. I've been put on bedrest for about 5 days.

I've been given a stronger anti-nausea medication because the "morning" sickness has been out of control. The Zofran was no longer working for me. Misery for a good cause! I'm not going to lie though, it's hard to think that way while I'm puking 5 times in an hour.

Week 8
I'm still going twice a week for blood work and an ultrasound. I look forward to the day they start weaning me off all the hormones. I went off the shots for 2 days because I ran out and the pharmacy didn't ship them to me on time. When I went in for bloodwork, my progesterone had dropped to below the cutoff point needed for the babies to survive. This proved my doc's point that the progesterone shots are crucial because my body doesn't make enough on it's own. Luckily, the meds got there the same day as the blood work, so when I went in again this week, my progesterone was back up where it needed to be. Hallelujah! Everything looked great - I am so lucky to get see my babies twice a week. Us once-labeled "infertiles" get spoiled at the RE's (reproductive endocrinologist) office.

The Big Announcement

After a long, anxiety-ridden, heartbreaking, exciting 2 years of trying, I am excited to announce that WE ARE PREGNANT!!!! I am in just complete shock right now. We have waited and prayed that God would have it in his plans for us to be parents, and he has answered. WOW!

For the past year, I have been documenting my experience with this emotional roller coaster (with lots of twists and turns) of infertility and the treatment that brought us to this point. If you care to read our story, see the posts below. I wanted to wait to share our story for when we had good news, so it's rather lengthy.

Several months ago we were given less than a 5% of getting pregnant on our own - modern day medicine is amazing. We still have a long way to go, but for now, I am going to enjoy this moment and take it day by day. Here's how we told our parents....

Our very first ultrasound showing 2!