Answered Prayers

Infertility really changes you. It robs you of the pure joy and excitement you should feel when you find out your pregnant. Even the joy of my boys doesn't take away the pain of infertility. Was it all worth it? Of course. Will the pain go away? Probably not, but that's ok. I want to remember what it felt to be so vulnerable. 

After we got pregnant with the boys, our specialist told us it could go either way with trying to get pregnant again on our own. With my specific issues, sometimes all it takes is the body being pregnant and experiencing all those hormones for it to get pregnant on it's own the 2nd time. I held on to this hope because I didn't think we'd be in a financial position for more fertility treatments ever again, even though we still had one little embryo left. We decided to start trying in May 2014 and if it didn't work after a year, we would try with our last embryo, if finances allowed us to. 

As you can imagine, we were very surprised and just as much overjoyed to find out that we were pregnant at the beginning of July. The joy quickly turned to fear because the first thought that came to my mind was my history of extremely low progesterone (the hormone that sustains pregnancy). I wasn't impressed with the on call doc at my regular OB's office so I texted my fav nurse and friend at the fertility clinic. She got me in immediately to check my levels. My progesterone was almost non-existent and we were told I needed to pray for a miracle and to not get too excited just yet. Over the next month, I went in 2-3 times a week for hormone checks and ultrasounds. That sweet fetus was just not growing like it should and no matter what we did, my progesterone level was not increasing hardly at all. I was so worried. I just couldn't be excited. 

Then, one day I went in by myself because Bryan couldn't get away from work and I begged the Big Guy for good news. I needed some glimmer of hope. And just like that, I saw the heartbeat. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. My progesterone was still low but had increased enough to put my doctor's and my mind at ease. We worked hard to keep that baby! My bathroom counter was covered inch to inch in all the hormones I had to take. I always imagined getting pregnant on my own would be so different. I would feel physically good and experience a "normal" pregnancy. That may not be the case, but God willing, I get to have another sweet baby fill my home with noise (because let's face it - my Lewis boys are noisy), love and laughter. And here is that sweet little angel baby...

3 Months Old

Updates over the last month :

The boys had their 2 month shots :( I guess after dealing with the trauma of having them in the NICU and all the poking and prodding they did on our sweet boys, I don't get emotional like before. This is cake compared to past experiences!! They were a little grumpy for a couple days and you could tell their little legs were sore. Hayden especially - he let out a few painful screams that hurt my heart.

I want to experience every little thing about the holidays. I love Christmas, and I love it more now that I have my sweet babies to share it with. I have prayed for these moments. God is good. We had a wonderful *5 Christmases* with all the fam, and the boys received lots of wonderful gifts.

Hayden started cooing the week of Christmas, and Connor a couple weeks later. Hayden is more vocal, as usual. I got my first ginormous smile from C and it melted me! For some crazy reason, they started yelling at us when we take their bottles away for burping. Hayden has to be burped because of his reflux. Sorry buddy.

Both boys still loves car rides, the play mat, the bird picture above their changing pad, and the new crib mobile that Dee Dee brought over. The mobile really gets them cooing.

We had 3 couple friends over for New Years. It was a nice, mellow evening full of gossip, sparklers, food and wine (for the girls, at least). The boys did their own thing in the garage.

A little note to my boys:

Connor Man -
You have changed significantly in your looks! You now have what the docs call "brown fat", and I love it! You sneak in a smile every once in a while, and you finally smiled at your daddy. He was so happy. You are a good sleeper and love bath time. I love to snuggle you but sometimes you just like to sprawl out on your own. Maybe it's because you know your brother acts desperate for attention and you like to give your mommy a break :)

Mr. Hayden -
You are so cuddly and love to be held. All. The. Time. You have been very vocal lately and it takes everything I have not to cry. I love you and your brother's sweet voices. Sometimes you startle yourself with the sounds you make. You like to be awake and hang with mom a lot. You also like Mickey Mouse on tv but I only let you watch it for a couple minutes. We dance to the hot dog song and you think it's funny (or that your mommy is crazy).

HAPPY 3 Months Sweet Boys!

2 Months Old

Updates from the past month:

Oh man do we love having these boys home! We call Connor "Connor Man" and Hayden "Mr. Hayden."

They are growing like weeds. I managed to pick both of them up and rock them while they were both fussy. I also tandem nursed them since they were screaming at me. It was not pretty, but it got the job done. I am definitely not built for tandem nursing so I'll be sticking with the nurse one/bottle feed the other routine that works best for me.

They love car rides, their jungle play mat, baths, and being in loud places (I think that stems from being in the NICU). C loves the swing and H loves the bouncer, which works out perfect because we only have one of each.

Connor smiled at me on December 7 for the first time (awake)! He makes the sweetest little faces and is so content (unless he's hungry). I take pictures of the boys all day long.

Mommy loves my face when daddy burps me. She takes a million pictures of it.

I love watching all the faces Hayden makes. He cracks me up! You can tell he's definitely the more vocal one.

We went on our first outing to Lupe Tortillas for dinner. So many people wanted to "oh and ah" over them. We were told congrats many times. The boys slept the entire time.

Lou is still not good at changing diapers, but he tries! Poor guy gets peed on just about every time.

I took the boys by myself to a doctor's appointment. That was a nightmare. I will not being going alone again.

We wore our "My Mom Rocks" shirts since she handled taking us to the doc all by herself!

I took them to HEB with me after their doctor's appointment. HA! I've still got pregnancy brain. My plan was to push the boys in their stroller and just shove a few items in the basket part. Well, when I went to check out and they had put everything in bags, I didn't have room or hands to take them to my car. A worker had to help me. Durrrrrrrrr

Izzy and Eva came home! The NICU doc recommended introducing the dogs slowly since the boys immune systems still weren't developed and we needed to be careful in case there were allergies. We brought Eva home after having them home for a month. Izzy came a week later. Connor had puffy eyes for a while but the doctor said it could go away once he gets used to it. The dogs really could have cared less. They just sniffed the boys and then ran all over the place like a crazy girls. Eva does like being around them though. Izzy just barks when they cry and looks at them like "Why are you still here?"

Took the boys to see Dr. O for my 6 week check-up. She loved them, of course. It was so good to see her and kind of rehash what happened. I've healed nicely but am still worried about the bleeding out incident I had. She reassured me that she'll keep an eye on me and I have to continue on iron for a while.

We went on our first little road trip to Brenham for Thanksgiving. H & C got to meet some more family and they loved it! They did great in the car too.

Our family!

4 Generations 

Uncle Ray

Uncle Glen

First family picture at the farm

Uncle Al and Aunt Fish

Sweet Aunt Fay

Our friends went with us to have pictures taken with Santa at Bass Pro Shops by our house. Their little girl was not having it, and it was hilarious. I know this sounds terrible, but I think pictures of true terror on little kids' faces is way better than them smiling and sitting on Santa's lap. Our boys just slept the whole time, as usual. We also went to PaPa Mark's company Christmas party and had pics taken with Santa there too.

We've had LOTS of visitors and these little boys have sure enjoyed the love. Thanks for loving on our boys! There will be a whole post of pictures from all the visitors.

Bryan's dad

Bryan's dad and Susan

HAPPY 2 MONTHS LITTLE BOYS!